trying my best is just not enough

i need passion!

hello everyone!
i've just reached ptar 1 with the intention to do some dr o's work
but knowing me, u know that i would not be able to do much. huhu~~

why?
1. i'm not good at dreamweaver, swishmax, photoshop
2. because i don't like doing these
3. i'm alone (my sis n her friend is studying in the other section of the lib.), so the tendency to merapu is very high

i'll try my best though..
alia, jngn malas!!


anyway, these are the blooming flowers that i planted myself
:)
i forgot to tell u that gardening is my new passion..hehe
my house is now surrounded with all kinds of trees
these plants is the new medicine 4 my worries
i love all of u!!
haha..

i dedicated this red rose 2 all my friends :)

Just don't say something for the sake of saying something

yeah. think before you speak. because ur words might be all but meaningless.

note to self: i better improve my presentation or else!
_____________________________________________________________


recently there had been quite a number of sudden deaths around.
first was MJ,

then
Yasmin Ahmad, the person whom i admired for her intelligence in doing adverts and movies

and today we lost Ustaz Asri (Rabbani).

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
الْحَمْدُ للّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ
الرَّحْمـنِ الرَّحِيمِ
مَالِكِ يَوْمِ الدِّينِ
إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ
اهدِنَــــا الصِّرَاطَ المُستَقِيمَ
صِرَاطَ الَّذِينَ أَنعَمتَ عَلَيهِمْ غَيرِ المَغضُوبِ عَلَيهِمْ وَلاَ الضَّالِّينَ


i have been thinking of many things since this afternoon
n these three thoughts are very very disturbing...

1. life is short. very short
2. i have to do many more things before i died
3. losing someone is terrifying
and i don't want to lose anyone

however to determine life and death is far beyond my power.

so what can i do?
what can i do to protect people's life? i can barely do anything to save my decent life if H1N1 attacks me except for swallowing medicine.
how pathetic.

feeling helpless is a feeling that i hate the most.

recently my parents booked 4 places 4 umrah trip and i am not included in the list.
reason given by them: i hv to take care of nwfal n ayman i had been there already.
my reaction: what!!!!!! xkire alia nk ikot jgak!! alia blanjala diorg 2 org p'gi sane. xnak kene tinggal!! wuuu..
the response: awk nk blanje ngn ape?
(gadoh2 lagi.......)

i was frustrated giler bcos the feeling of being left is certainly not good. i mean the feeling is very bad. (secretly praying that they would cancel the trip if they really wnt 2 exclude me. )